Jokes: That’s How The Fight Started

Thu, Jul 18, 2013

Jokes

wedding-rings

Marriage – an institution. A mental institution. Today, I’m sharing some husband and wife jokes which I came across online. Credit to the person who came up with these!

Here goes…

 

How The Fight Started

 

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started…..

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed.
“He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?”

And then the fight started…

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started…

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back;
now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”

My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”

And that’s how the fight started…

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started……

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.”
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.”

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”

And then the fight started…

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
“I feel horrible…I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.”

I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

And then the fight started……..

________________________________

Leave a Reply

avatar

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  Subscribe  
Notify of
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!
<ul><li><strong>woo_about</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_aboutlink</strong> - #</li><li><strong>woo_ad_300_adsense</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_ad_300_image</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com/ads/woothemes-300x250-2.gif</li><li><strong>woo_ad_300_url</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_1</strong> - https://rover.ebay.com/ar/1/711-53200-19255-200/1?campid=5337728159&toolid=7115320019255200&customid=&mpt=[CACHEBUSTER]&adtype=1&size=125x125&mpvc=</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_2</strong> - https://www.devonbuy.com/ads/amazon-harry-potter_125x125.gif</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_3</strong> - https://www.devonbuy.com/ads/amazon-outdoor-125x125.gif</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_4</strong> - https://ua.siteground.com/img/banners/general/comfort/125x125.gif</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_5</strong> - https://www.ledgerwallet.com/images/promo/ledger-125x125-01.jpg</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_6</strong> - https://rover.ebay.com/ar/1/711-53200-19255-206/1?campid=5337728159&toolid=7115320019255206&customid=&mpt=[CACHEBUSTER]&adtype=1&size=125x125&mpvc=</li><li><strong>woo_ad_page</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_1</strong> - https://rover.ebay.com/rover/1/711-53200-19255-200/1?campid=5337728159&toolid=7115320019255200&customid=&mpvc=</li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_2</strong> - https://rcm-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/cm?o=1&p=20&l=ur1&category=harrypotter&banner=0QBKQY11P91PAXPSF6R2&f=ifr&linkID=915843b356b381d0db40062ff7bfe45b&t=mocbd-20&tracking_id=mocbd-20</li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_3</strong> - https://rcm-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/cm?t=httpwwwdevonb-20&o=1&p=21&l=ur1&category=outdoorrecreation&banner=164JRD7N4C2VKTAZDFG2&f=ifr&linkID=5HFYXR3JJZDYKOHE</li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_4</strong> - https://www.siteground.com/index.htm?afcode=773e910100e56782270d8b111a35f150</li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_5</strong> - https://www.ledgerwallet.com/r/beaa</li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_6</strong> - https://rover.ebay.com/rover/1/711-53200-19255-206/1?campid=5337728159&toolid=7115320019255206&customid=&mpvc=</li><li><strong>woo_ads_rotate</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_alt_stylesheet</strong> - 3-grey.css</li><li><strong>woo_archives</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_asides_category</strong> - Select a category:</li><li><strong>woo_author</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_auto_img</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_centered</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_content</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_content_feat</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_content_left</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_custom_css</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_custom_favicon</strong> - https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/26-favicon-db.png</li><li><strong>woo_custom_seo_template</strong> - a:3:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:10:"seo_info_1";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:5:"label";s:4:"SEO ";s:4:"type";s:4:"info";s:4:"desc";s:190:"Additional SEO custom fields available: <strong>Custom Page Titles</strong>. Go to <a href="https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-admin/admin.php?page=woothemes_seo">SEO Settings</a> page to activate.";}i:1;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:10:"seo_follow";s:3:"std";s:5:"false";s:5:"label";s:16:"SEO - Set follow";s:4:"type";s:8:"checkbox";s:4:"desc";s:77:"Make links from this post/page <strong>followable</strong> by search engines.";}i:2;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:11:"seo_noindex";s:3:"std";s:5:"false";s:5:"label";s:13:"SEO - Noindex";s:4:"type";s:8:"checkbox";s:4:"desc";s:56:"Set the Page/Post to not be indexed by a search engines.";}}</li><li><strong>woo_feat_image_height</strong> - 195</li><li><strong>woo_feat_image_width</strong> - 540</li><li><strong>woo_featured_category</strong> - Select a category:</li><li><strong>woo_featured_posts</strong> - Select a number:</li><li><strong>woo_feedburner_id</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_feedburner_url</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_flickr_entries</strong> - Select a Number:</li><li><strong>woo_flickr_id</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_flickr_url</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_framework_template</strong> - a:17:{i:0;a:3:{s:4:"name";s:18:"Framework Settings";s:4:"icon";s:7:"general";s:4:"type";s:7:"heading";}i:1;a:6:{s:4:"name";s:21:"Super User (username)";s:4:"desc";s:245:"Enter your <strong>username</strong> to hide the Framework Settings and Update Framework from other users. Can be reset from the <a href='https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-admin/options.php'>WP options page</a> under <em>framework_woo_super_user</em>.";s:2:"id";s:24:"framework_woo_super_user";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:5:"class";s:4:"text";s:4:"type";s:4:"text";}i:2;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:21:"Disable SEO Menu Item";s:4:"desc";s:61:"Disable the <strong>SEO</strong> menu item in the theme menu.";s:2:"id";s:25:"framework_woo_seo_disable";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:8:"checkbox";}i:3;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:33:"Disable Sidebar Manager Menu Item";s:4:"desc";s:73:"Disable the <strong>Sidebar Manager</strong> menu item in the theme menu.";s:2:"id";s:25:"framework_woo_sbm_disable";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:8:"checkbox";}i:4;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:28:"Disable Buy Themes Menu Item";s:4:"desc";s:68:"Disable the <strong>Buy Themes</strong> menu item in the theme menu.";s:2:"id";s:32:"framework_woo_buy_themes_disable";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:8:"checkbox";}i:5;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:24:"Enable Custom Navigation";s:4:"desc";s:181:"Enable the old <strong>Custom Navigation</strong> menu item. Try to use <a href='https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-admin/nav-menus.php'>WP Menus</a> instead, as this function is outdated.";s:2:"id";s:20:"framework_woo_woonav";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:8:"checkbox";}i:6;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:25:"Theme Update Notification";s:4:"desc";s:101:"This will enable notices on your theme options page that there is an update available for your theme.";s:2:"id";s:35:"framework_woo_theme_version_checker";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:8:"checkbox";}i:7;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:29:"Disable Shortcodes Stylesheet";s:4:"desc";s:76:"This disables the output of shortcodes.css in the HEAD section of your site.";s:2:"id";s:32:"framework_woo_disable_shortcodes";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:8:"checkbox";}i:8;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:26:"Remove Generator Meta Tags";s:4:"desc";s:81:"This disables the output of generator meta tags in the HEAD section of your site.";s:2:"id";s:31:"framework_woo_disable_generator";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:8:"checkbox";}i:9;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:17:"Image Placeholder";s:4:"desc";s:151:"Set a default image placeholder for your thumbnails. Use this if you want a default image to be shown if you haven't added a custom image to your post.";s:2:"id";s:27:"framework_woo_default_image";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:6:"upload";}i:10;a:3:{s:4:"name";s:8:"Branding";s:4:"icon";s:4:"misc";s:4:"type";s:7:"heading";}i:11;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:20:"Options panel header";s:4:"desc";s:50:"Change the header image for the WooThemes Backend.";s:2:"id";s:34:"framework_woo_backend_header_image";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:6:"upload";}i:12;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:18:"Options panel icon";s:4:"desc";s:56:"Change the icon image for the WordPress backend sidebar.";s:2:"id";s:26:"framework_woo_backend_icon";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:6:"upload";}i:13;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:20:"WordPress login logo";s:4:"desc";s:51:"Change the logo image for the WordPress login page.";s:2:"id";s:31:"framework_woo_custom_login_logo";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:6:"upload";}i:14;a:3:{s:4:"name";s:15:"Import / Export";s:4:"icon";s:4:"misc";s:4:"type";s:7:"heading";}i:15;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:14:"Import Options";s:4:"desc";s:59:"Import the options from another installation of this theme.";s:2:"id";s:28:"framework_woo_import_options";s:3:"std";s:0:"";s:4:"type";s:8:"textarea";}i:16;a:5:{s:4:"name";s:14:"Export Options";s:4:"desc";s:94:"Export the options to another installation of this theme, or to keep a backup of your options.";s:2:"id";s:28:"framework_woo_export_options";s:3:"std";s:1512:"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";s:4:"type";s:8:"textarea";}}</li><li><strong>woo_framework_version</strong> - 4.1.0</li><li><strong>woo_google_analytics</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_home</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_home_archives</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_home_flickr_count</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_home_flickr_url</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_home_flickr_user</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_home_lifestream</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_home_one_col</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_home_posts</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_image_disable</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_image_height</strong> - 190</li><li><strong>woo_image_single</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_image_width</strong> - 350</li><li><strong>woo_layout</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_logo</strong> - https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/32-logo-devonbuy-2016.png</li><li><strong>woo_mainright</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_manual</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com/support/theme-documentation/fresh-news/</li><li><strong>woo_nav</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_options</strong> - a:28:{s:18:"woo_alt_stylesheet";s:12:"6-whitey.css";s:8:"woo_logo";s:58:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/3-logo.png";s:18:"woo_custom_favicon";s:0:"";s:20:"woo_google_analytics";s:0:"";s:18:"woo_feedburner_url";s:0:"";s:14:"woo_custom_css";s:0:"";s:8:"woo_home";s:5:"false";s:14:"woo_home_posts";s:0:"";s:19:"woo_home_lifestream";s:0:"";s:20:"woo_home_flickr_user";s:0:"";s:21:"woo_home_flickr_count";s:0:"";s:19:"woo_home_flickr_url";s:0:"";s:17:"woo_home_archives";s:0:"";s:13:"woo_mainright";s:5:"false";s:7:"woo_nav";s:4:"true";s:8:"woo_tabs";s:5:"false";s:9:"woo_video";s:4:"true";s:9:"woo_about";s:0:"";s:13:"woo_aboutlink";s:1:"#";s:14:"woo_ads_rotate";s:4:"true";s:14:"woo_ad_image_1";s:46:"https://www.devonbuy.com/ads/bh_125x125_02.gif";s:12:"woo_ad_url_1";s:37:"http://www.bluehost.com/track/indigot";s:14:"woo_ad_image_2";s:46:"https://www.devonbuy.com/ads/icoolsoftipad.jpg";s:12:"woo_ad_url_2";s:68:"https://www.regnow.com/checkout/cart/add/27148-7?affiliate_id=593001";s:14:"woo_ad_image_3";s:41:"http://www.woothemes.com/ads/125x125b.jpg";s:12:"woo_ad_url_3";s:24:"http://www.woothemes.com";s:14:"woo_ad_image_4";s:41:"http://www.woothemes.com/ads/125x125b.jpg";s:12:"woo_ad_url_4";s:24:"http://www.woothemes.com";}</li><li><strong>woo_other_entries</strong> - 6</li><li><strong>woo_popular_posts</strong> - Select a number:</li><li><strong>woo_resize</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_rss_thumb</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_shortname</strong> - woo</li><li><strong>woo_show_video</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_single_height</strong> - 120</li><li><strong>woo_single_image_height</strong> - 100</li><li><strong>woo_single_image_width</strong> - 100</li><li><strong>woo_single_width</strong> - 200</li><li><strong>woo_suckerfish</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_tabs</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_themename</strong> - Fresh News</li><li><strong>woo_thumb_height</strong> - 100</li><li><strong>woo_thumb_image_height</strong> - 75</li><li><strong>woo_thumb_image_width</strong> - 75</li><li><strong>woo_thumb_width</strong> - 100</li><li><strong>woo_uploads</strong> - a:30:{i:0;s:73:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/32-logo-devonbuy-2016.png";i:1;s:73:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/31-logo-devonbuy-2016.png";i:2;s:73:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/30-logo-devonbuy-2015.png";i:3;s:73:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/29-logo-devonbuy-2015.png";i:4;s:73:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/28-logo-devonbuy-2015.png";i:5;s:73:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/27-logo-devonbuy-2015.png";i:6;s:65:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/26-favicon-db.png";i:7;s:66:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/25-favicon2014.png";i:8;s:65:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/24-header2014.png";i:9;s:65:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/23-header2014.png";i:10;s:65:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/22-header2014.png";i:11;s:65:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/21-header2013.png";i:12;s:70:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/20-header2013type2.jpg";i:13;s:70:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/19-header2013type2.jpg";i:14;s:70:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/18-header2013type2.jpg";i:15;s:70:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/17-header2013type2.jpg";i:16;s:65:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/16-header2013.jpg";i:17;s:64:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/15-logo_cart.png";i:18;s:64:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/14-logo_cart.png";i:19;s:64:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/13-logo_cart.png";i:20;s:64:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/12-logo_cart.png";i:21;s:64:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/11-logo_cart.png";i:22;s:61:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/10-logo_3.png";i:23;s:60:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/9-logo_3.png";i:24;s:60:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/8-db-fav.png";i:25;s:60:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/7-logo_2.png";i:26;s:60:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/6-logo_2.png";i:27;s:60:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/5-logo_2.png";i:28;s:60:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/4-logo_2.png";i:29;s:58:"https://www.devonbuy.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/3-logo.png";}</li><li><strong>woo_video</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_video_category</strong> - Select a category:</li></ul>